There comes a time when we need to examine our story and how we portray ourselves to others, how we show up or don’t show up in our relationships.
Do you ever feel like you are trying your best to speak your truth, to get your point across with clarity and your own voice, only for your words to not be heard in the way you intended, or interpreted them yourself? Or is that the point- that you are talking to someone and not with someone and that is a situation (capital S) in itself?
Let me clarify- lately I have been in a conversation with someone and what appears to be out of the blue the person’s response is upset, or confusing to me or shows that s/he is even angry.
And then I do what I do- think about it. Sit in it, let it wash over me. I am choosing to be responsive when I am ready rather than overreactive quickly without giving it some thought. I ask myself a series of questions, “What was it that I said? Did I say something wrong, or confusing? Could I have been more clear? What was my tone? Also, could something be going on with that person which I don’t know about, that could be affecting how s/he is reacting to me?”
This is hard to do, I know. But I try really hard to show up, and not only make myself heard, but hear the person back. Listen in. Lean in as they say.
After a bit the air clears, I think better, and react slower. The hope is to not only get my point across better but also to understand where the person I was talking to, is coming from in his/her response as well.
So how can we teach ourselves to stop, and be in the moment of that anger, confusion, distraught place? And then act with kindness first above all else, with hopes to resolve the issue and find a way to understand each other?
It’s a practice. It isn’t easy. But nothing worth it really is, right?
Let’s support each other. Let’s be kind. Lets try to entertain an ideal that we all just want to understand the people we care about, and not only to be understood.
….Am I getting my point across well?
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